Ella Pitt

SALT WATER HEALING

I’m occasionally too aware of my own voice
and especially the way it raises an octave
when speaking with those in a position of
authority or strangers in the tube station unless
I remind myself in good time.
Sometimes I want to ask people to change one
of the words they use and sometimes I want
to ask for a little bit more milk but I don’t do either.
There’s a vetting process for the things I want and
they don’t make the cut  in the end.
I stick my finger in salt and lick it, the granules
fill the grooves of my fingertips.
I am so much like salt, my skin tastes just like salt.
I’m in the habit of buying the cheap,
white plastic container type with the lids you can’t trust
because they get looser all the time until the whole
lot empties on the plate.
It happened once and I spooned the white sludge out but
the meal was ruined. I feel a deeper sickness
when it’s myself being emptied,
when I’m the white sludge forcing this lump from
under the skin part of the way out until the only
way to heal is with diluted salt water.

          –  Ella Pitt